In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
