We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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