Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
