Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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