I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
