That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
