omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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