when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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