Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
