Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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