Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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