; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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