Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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