Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
