3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
