wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
