There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
