And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you will always have a special place in my vag
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
