JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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