I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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