Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
