did you get engaged???
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
