White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Randomize
