are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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