Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
too bad you live with your parents still
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
