you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
