I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
