i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
