these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
