He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
