I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
