"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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