Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
im six kinds of drunk right now
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
