i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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