worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
