saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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