so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize
