just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
zippers are such a cool invention
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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