I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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