I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
