No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
