dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
We named our party play list daddy issues
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
