I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
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I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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