I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize