clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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