We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he was CRYING into my vagina
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
