we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Randomize
