I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
