i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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