I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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