she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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