with your own penis?
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
this boner is exhausting
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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