I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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