so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
