What did we do last night that was yellow?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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