there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
