all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
