i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
