i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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