If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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