3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
