Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
