I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
